The 9 Unwritten Rules for Life in Buenos Aires
Spend a few weeks in Buenos Aires and you’ll start noticing things.
Little things. Like how pouring your own drink makes you look like a savage. Or how a “quick mate” somehow hijacks your entire afternoon. Nobody sits you down and explains the unwritten rules for life in Buenos Aires. You just pick upon them — one awkward moment at a time.
Rule 1: Always Greet with One Kiss — No Awkward Handshakes
Forget handshakes, waves, and nods. It’s one kiss on the cheek, every time. Friend of a friend? Kiss. Someone you met four seconds ago? Kiss.
Exception: if you’re actually contagious. (Even then, better explain yourself.)
Rule 2: Always Serve Others Before Yourself
If you’re pouring fernet, wine, Coke, or any other liquid, fill someone else’s glass first.
Serving yourself first isn’t rude, it’s just poor manners.
Social respect > thirst. Always.
Rule 3: Split the Bill Evenly
Buenos Aires isn’t the place to whip out a calculator at the table. Be cool. Split the bill evenly, even if you only had a salad. Trying to discount the extra empanada your friend ate? Congratulations, you’re officially a rata.
(Pro tip: If you’re taking a girl out on a date. La cuenta is all yours to pay, campeón.)
Rule 4: Don’t Even Try to Remember Everyone’s Name — Just Say Amigo or Hermano – everyone’s family.
Buenos Aires is hyper-social. You’ll meet five new people before breakfast and forget three by lunch.
Don’t panic. Fire off a confident “¿Qué hacés, campeón?” or “Todo bien, maestro?” and roll with it.
It’s not about names, it’s about nailing the oh yeah “I totally remember who you are vibe” even when you don’t.
Rule 5: Never Assume a “Quick Mate” Will Be Quick
An invitation for “un matecito” sounds casual. It’s not. You’re signing up for several hours of:
- Deep existential chats
- Wild political rants
- Life advice you didn’t ask for but secretly needed
Block out your afternoon. You’ve been warned.
Rule 6: Never Eat Pizza Without Fainá
Pizza and fainá are a package deal here.
Fainá – that golden chickpea pancake, it isn’t optional.
You don’t have to stack it on top (although if you do, sos crack), but skipping fainá entirely?
Unforgivable.
Rule 7: Accept That Heavy Rain = Cancelled Plans
If it rains hard, life simply stops. Forget the bus. Forget dinner. Prepare for your WhatsApp feed to flood with memes about flooded streets. It’s an accepted excuse for bailing — embrace it.
Rule 8: Pick a Side — Boca or River, No Fence-Sitting
In Buenos Aires, fútbol is religion. You can’t be neutral. Even if you don’t care. And no, you can’t pick Racing. Choose your team — Boca Juniors or River Plate — and suffer (or celebrate) accordingly.
Pro tip: quietly mirror your friends’ loyalty until you’re sure.
Rule 9: Treat WhatsApp Like Your Social Life Command Center
Everything happens on WhatsApp:
- Group chats for asados
- Stickers for emotional warfare
- Voice notes that could win podcast awards
There will be a group for everything and your friends will add you in. Get ready for 89 notifications before 10:00 AM. What if you just leave the group? Prepare for drama.
Turn off notifications, don’t exit — it’s safer that way.
You’ll figure it out (Eventually)
You don’t have to master Buenos Aires. You just have to stop pouring your own drink first, pick a fútbol team, and pretend you’re not mad when a WhatsApp group hits you with 89 unread messages.
Laugh when it floods. Smile when the bus doesn’t stop. Nod like you understand when someone tells you “ya fue” for the third time today.
Half the time, Buenos Aires doesn’t make sense even to the people who live here. That’s the point.
You’re not here to conquer it. You’re here to roll with it — one mate, one asado, one chaotic group chat at a time. Learning these unwritten rules or life in Buenos Aires is part of the canon experiences of living in this crazy city.